It’s been awhile (thing I always say when there’s a lengthy time in between posts). I also tend to say that I’ve been meaning/wanting to write, but I haven’t had (read: MADE) the time. It’s still true, though.
I’m making the time tonight because there is way too much going on in my head. Hoping that writing it down…getting it out…might help. Probably won’t but, hey, worth trying.
Some of my friends and I were recently talking about how we’re not doing anything that we want to be doing. Essentially, our lives are shaped around things we fell into or have to do out of necessity/obligation. Don’t get me wrong, we are all aware that sometimes in life (sometimes all the time) you have to do things you don’t want to. However, the unhappiness of it all can be soul crushing. We’re supposed to choose one thing to do over the course of the next 3 months that is something we really want to do (in general, towards a future career goal, whatever). I haven’t decided what I’m going to do yet.
To be honest, I’m scared that I’ll choose something and not do it. I wish I could just take some time to figure things out, but I can’t. It’s so frustrating. I wish I had taken the time when I had the time. I didn’t, and I can’t.
So. Now, what?