Thoughts For Tonight

I’m reading this book that I got from the library for like a quarter. Library book sales are pretty amazing. But the character in the book was talking about how she sometimes is hesitant to let her best friend meet guys that she is interested in or that are interested in her. Not because she questioned her friend’s loyalty or motives,but because she was afraid the dude would lose interest in her and instead be attracted to her friend. I’ve noticed that I feel that way about a lot of things too. I already know if there is a guy I’m interested in,my concern is that even if he becomes interested in me,that if/when he meets my friends,he will see something in them that he likes better than me.

On the other side of things,this also made me think about a convo I had with one of my little sisters. We are both going to read this book called, “Who Calls Me Beautiful?” and deals with seeing yourself in God’s image. We each have to deal with things regarding that,but I found it interesting that no matter how you see someone..they could see themselves a completely different way. She wants to change how she looks,but I would like so badly to look like her. In some ways. Not ALL ways,but in a particular way. It’s just…funny. One of my sisters in undergrad,at the time didn’t think she was that pretty. She is a beautiful young woman and I never understood how she didn’t see it. I feel like that about a lot of people. I guess some people think that about me. But it’s…it’s difficult…having this mindset. It’s heavy. It feels heavy. & while I want to get out of it,I do,there are still those moments when I’m convinced that if I looked the way I wanted…I would like myself more. Love myself more. Right or wrong,that’s how I feel sometimes. Sometimes I wonder,if I did what I think about sometimes,would I get the results I want. But I shouldn’t do it because of this reason and then I can’t do it,for other reasons. But then, maybe. You know?

Anyway. Thought it was interesting and wanted to write it down before I forgot.

Sorry for any typos!

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