Ok,I decided to just come back and write a new post,but it still is about the Billy Joel song in my last post. The song is called Lullaby (Goodnight, My Angel). Obviously, or maybe not so obviously, I’m not a child,but this song makes me miss my mother for a number of reasons that sort of stem from one thing: Without my mother,I feel a sense of being lost, like I’m not connected to anything or anyone. Anyway. Here is my list:
- I miss being your daughter: I miss being yours. Your oldest daughter,yet still your baby. Different from my sister who is the baby,baby,yet I was still your baby.
- I miss your voice: I miss your laugh,hearing you say my name. Hearing you say you love me. Encouraging me. That you believe in me. To trust God.
- I miss having you to go home to: You were home for me. A sense of comfort that I felt even when I wasn’t home.
- I miss your smile: People always say/said how your smile is beautiful and radiant.
- I miss asking you for advice: Even if you didn’t always tell me what to do,you still helped me in some way…even if I didn’t see it as advice perse lol
- I feel like this is selfish,but I miss how special you made me feel: It was/is such an amazing thing to be your daughter. & you always made us feel like we were just so great. Always it was attributed to God,but always that we could whatever what we wanted and be successful.
- I miss you for the future: I wrote a poem once that said, essentially, that I didn’t want to live life without you. I don’t like having to tell people you died, having milestones in my life that I can’t experience with you or tell you about them. I don’t like having to adjust or get used to you not being here.
- I just miss you.