*this was supposed to be posted yesterday*

talked to my sister today and the conversation plus a text she sent me later made me realize even more how my mom’s absence is affecting her. has me a little worried/concerned. my mom was the person she went to when things got too hard or too rough…I think she helped my sister see past the storm or at least that there would be a way out of it. without her…I don’t know. my sister told me today not to play ‘mom’. I told her I wasn’t, that I was being the older sister.

Definitely sent my mind spiraling down a negative tunnel for a little bit. a reminder of the hole that her absence left. I’m better now, but…I really miss her. & I think the both of us feel like it wasn’t supposed to be this way…at least not at the time it happened. How old we were. And especially the way it all happened. So quickly.

I miss her for my sister.


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