Looking Forward

I said to my friend today that I loved Christmas. She responded by saying she does too and she can’t wait. I said, “me too.” I realized that I actually am genuinely looking forward to Christmas. I have always loved it, the season, the music, the happiness that is generally in the air…I think/hope as I have gotten older I would develop more of a focus on Christ than commercial Christmas lol Need to work on that. But I still love it. Without my mom though, it isn’t the same. No going home to her, trying to make sure I get what I want or make sure my sister and I get her what she wants..etc.,etc. But I was talking to my sister about it and we were talking about what we were going to do and cook and stuff. I’m looking forward to it. It still kind of breaks my heart that it has to be this way. I still want her there/here, of course. But I guess…I don’t want/like saying this, but I guess we are making a tradition of our own as well. Which isn’t bad, I suppose, but it still kind of makes me sad. At the same time, this is some sort of ‘progress’.

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