I may have written on this before and sometimes I’m slow to realize things about myself when other people are like, “duh”.
I like to hide. Sometimes. Most times. I don’t wear my hair up or whatever often,I like it down. I feel more covered or inside something. When my hair is in a ponytail (like it is now) I tend to feel exposed. It is a feeling I can deal with,but it is uncomfortable. Similarly,I love rain and overcast days. I find beauty in those things,but that too is hiding. Sunshine sometimes makes me feel like I’m out in the open too. Like a spotlight is on me. And yes,I realize it actually isn’t,that the sun is for the world,but I feel more in my element when it is cloudy and such.
At the same time,though,sometimes I want attention. Or I want to be noticed. But I guess it is on my own terms,maybe. I would like to be noticed in the right way(s),by the right person/people,at the right time(s). Being invisible has its perks and is certainly comfortable,but sometimes it can be lonely as well.