Every once in awhile I decide to listen to my iTunes playlist called “mom”. It’s probably obvious that by the time I’m halfway through..one of the songs, not even the whole list (which really only consists of like 5 songs), I’m probably crying. Today I was looking for a song by Mandisa that my big sister told me about shortly after my mom died. It’s called “You Wouldn’t Cry” by Mandisa. I love this song. It makes me cry though! But I love it..it makes me miss her so much, but also think of how happy she must be. Just now I thought to myself, I know she is happy, but I wonder if she misses me. I’m glad she is happy and glad she doesn’t hurt anymore…but I kind of want her to miss me. I don’t know. Because I miss her, I guess. One thing that really bothers me to this day is that I hadn’t seen her since August. My mom died in December. Neither my sister nor I got to say goodbye and I’m not at all suggesting that this was easier for my sister because she saw her every week, but whenever I think about that time, I hate that the next time I saw her was at the wake. I hate that. I wanted to share this song. Maybe it will help someone else too.