Have you ever treated God like a person? I mean like a straight human. Like..like He is the same as everyone who ever mistreated you, never forgave you, loved you hesitantly or shallowly (is that a word?)
I started this book (and need to finish) with Cataclysm called Crazy Love Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan. In one chapter Chan talks about that. How we put attributes of people in our lives, of other humans, onto God. For example, a lot of times people think God is like their earthly fathers. We often call God our Heavenly Father and I do think it is pretty natural for when we hear or see that word ‘father’ we think of our earthly dads. I think I have done the same before. It’s also talked about in the book Captivating by John & Staci Eldredge. They go deeper into how a woman’s relationship with her father can have very serious and very real effects on her life..and she may not even know it.
My point is, that’s what I’m doing now. I’m treating God like a person. Like a human. In a way. I’m mad at/with him. I’m angry. I’m confused. So I’m not talking to Him. The thing is, I know that this isn’t good..I can feel it. The only reason I’m not completely frightened is because I’m praying for other people so I feel like at least in some way we are still connected. I know it doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense, but that’s where I am right now. I don’t like it though. And I know the ‘typical’ answer is to just talk to Him. Everytime I hear that though I’m just like..yea…ok…I don’t know. Considering what my plans are for the fall..kinda makes me doubt what I want to do. How am I going to do all that…say I believe all that and I am having these issues myself? I know you can have issues and still tell people about God. I’m pretty sure if someone came to me with this same problem, I would advise them the same way I am being advised. But it’s still so hard to do that same thing myself.
SMH at myself…