Sometimes I get too caught up in what I should do..or what I THINK I should do. I feel like I think I should feel some type of way about my mom, but I don’t. I wonder if I spend too much time thinking about it..or is it bad when something happens to other people, the first thing or one of the first things I think about is her. I feel selfish a lot of times…I’m really trying not to make things all about me, because I know it’s not.
But I honestly feel like my entire world is out of wack. Like…my world is gone. Not that everything revolved around my mom, because it didn’t, but she is a huge part of it. I feel like everything one way or another comes back to her. If something good happens, I want to tell her about it. If something bad happens, I want to tell her about it and I want her to help me feel better or help me to fix it. If I’m confused, she can help me get clarity. She’s not God. I know that. I’m not at all suggesting that or putting them on the same level. But I don’t know how to navigate life without her.