Hiding

I’ve realized that…well. Not that I didn’t know it before, but the other day at work it really kind of hit me- I like to be hidden. I do NOT like feeling like I am exposed. It makes me feel so incredibly uncomfortable. This is a small example, but I was going to lunch the other day and upon leaving my desk, was thinking about going to eat in the break room and turned around and grabbed my coat. This action in itself may not seem very important, but the reason I got my coat, is because I knew it would literally and figuratively make me feel ‘covered’. I don’t like when people stare at me and I don’t like feeling like I’m out in the open.

It’s no secret I don’t like dresses. Most people know this. Some people try to get me to change my mind, some people don’t understand why. When I tell people I feel uncomfortable in them, most women say that “dresses are SO comfortable”! What they don’t understand is that I[‘m not necessarily saying the garment itself is uncomfortable, but rather wearing a dress makes ME, as a person, feel uncomfortable. Dresses make me feel like I’m exposed to everything, out in the open. Not even referring to like…how short a dress is, how fitted, or what it reveals. Because if you know me, I’m usually not wearing anything like that. But dresses make me feel out in the open. I’d rather be over to the side in the shadows. 

Some people try to challenge me on this…some in effort to help me grow, some just to get me to wear a dress…some…idk just because. But I what I need everyone to understand is if I really don’t like something, odds are there is a reason. With the dress thing or some clothes in general- there’s a reason. If you try to drag me out into the open without my consent or against my will, I’m going to go running back into hiding every single time. 

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