Little things remind me of my mother. A few people and I (namely Clay-born and Cataclysm) have talked about how music evokes memory….you can hear a song, a lyric, a chord, a NOTE..and it’ll take you back to a certain moment. Tonight as I was unpacking and rearranging things, a few songs reminded me of my mother. The songs were just instrumentals, and not even anything necessarily that I’d heard my mom play before. But the type of music, I think, made me think it was probably something that she’d like. Something that someone had shared with me, that I’d say “hey mom, listen to this, I really like it”. She’d probably listen to it at work and then email me telling me what she liked about it.
Whenever I hear Christmas music or think about Christmas, it makes me think of her. I wonder how it will be this year and even in the years to come. I know it won’t be the same, but…still. It’s like conflicting views, you know? I love Christmas, always have, but at the same time it makes me think of her. Which isn’t a bad thing, by any means…except whenever I think of her, I can’t help but think that she’s not here. Christmas music does the same thing. Fe and I would listen to Christmas music starting in like October lol I LOVE Christmas music…it makes me so happy and definitely puts me in the mood for Christmas…it’s just awesome…but now…it’s not even bittersweet. Good and bad. Maybe. Bad and bad. I guess we’ll see.