Hope

Last month I wrote something called “Graduation Degradation”. It was a…”letter” of sorts, detailing how I felt about graduation at the time. It told of how though it is an enormous accomplishment, there is also an immense sadness attached to it. I still sometimes feel like as I talk about it that it’s getting old, like people tire of hearing about this. It’s been 7 months, almost to the day. I can hardly believe that. “Graduation Degradation” speaks about the hopelessness I feel/felt. I praise God, though, that I have people in my life to encourage me and uplift me. Right now I am on a search for hope. I guess the fact that I’m on a search means I know that it exists, that it can be found. It’s important that I press on regardless of how I feel/what I think. That is my goal. Keep pushing, keep pressing. I was asked the other day what motivates me. My mom motivated me a lot. Without her it seems so much is lost. But I have to keep going. This is a quest of sorts, I suppose. Not an easy one by any means…I just want to try..see what that’s like. Sometimes it’s even hard/scary to think about trying..because what’s the point, you know? The point of trying when there’s no hope. But there is hope…I just have to find it. 

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